Emotions

Many years ago, someone I deeply cared about said, "Lauri, your feelings don't matter." For an emotional person like me, this was the ultimate insult. I leaned on my feelings for everything! My understanding of the workings of the world was directed by how I felt. Even my relationship with God was determined by my emotional experiences. I had many "heated" conversations with this person about this disparaging statement.

As the years have passed, I have revisited that statement many times.

Over those years, I have come to understand, even appreciate the statement that previously offended me. I have learned that feelings change with the wind (at least mine do). The person who said that to me did NOT mean; "Lauri, your feelings don't matter to me." This person meant that how I felt about something or someone did not have any bearing on the facts; that how I feel in a moment of anger or pain may not accurately reflect the truth of a situation.

Now that I have children, I can easily see what this person was talking about!

It is often true that when two or more of the children are arguing about something, the feelings of the participants color the perception of the truth.

Likewise, it came as a shock to me that whether or not *I* felt anything, God was with me in the Divine Service. God said that whenever two or three are gathered in HIS NAME, He would be there in the midst of them. Each Sunday we begin worship IN HIS NAME..He is there. His Word is there...where His Word is there He will be...even if I am in a horrible mood because my kids were fighting the whole 35 minute drive to church and I feel like I hate them. Even if I feel completely unworthy to come into His presence, He still wants to see me! He especially wants to see me then, in my weakness an in all humility.

I am ALWAYS unworthy to come into his presence..even when I feel good! I am always a sinner even when I am not sinning at that particular moment. These things are facts. Happy faces or not, pretty clothes or not, Bible reading or not, attend every Sunday no matter what or not, send my kids to Christian school or not, serve on 12 committees or not, am a Pastor's family or not...I am always a sinner in need of being in God's house to receive His Word of forgiveness. And even then, no matter if I cry with joy or not when receiving that Life-giving Word, that Word still does what God sent it to do...makes me right with Him.


"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8

NOW, I find great comfort in knowing that it doesn't matter how I feel!

image from: www.2heartsnetwork.org