Twenty

Twenty weeks down, twenty weeks to go. All seems well as baby is obviously growing ( I know because the kids keep telling me how fat I am) and is moving daily.

Please keep us in your prayers. :)

Today is a day worthy of celebration!

Yes...it IS Baptism of Our Lord Sunday,
Yes...it IS my sister-in-law's birthday,

but those are not the reasons I am celebrating today.

Six years ago this morning we rode into the beautiful state of North Carolina...arriving at the then president-of-the-congregation's home. I will never forget that day. I felt that God had truly rescued us from hell. (for those of you who do not know, we came from serving two years in Kansas where dh was persecuted from the moment we arrived.)

I could go on and on about the experience, especially since I have been thinking about it all day long, but suffice it to say, the folks here had been vacant for three long years..longer than we served/suffered in KS and while we served/suffered in Iowa too. So while we were suffering, so were these two, confessional churches. Those experiences led all of us to a deep appreciation for God's blessing of each other. Does that make sense? To this day, folks from both congregations still say, "Please don't leave!" I always reply, "It is not our intention to leave anytime soon! We love serving here...and we love you!"

(This will be the only state in which THREE babies have been born! Want the tally? I know you do!)
St. Louis, MO - 2
Northern MI - 2
Southern IL - 2
Iowa - none
western KS -1
here 2 and soon to be 3!

Epiphany

I love Epiphany. I love that the gifts the wise me brought to Jesus pointed to who He was and what He was to do. He was/is the King of ALL. He was/is our intercessor and He would indeed die...but that myrrh, though brought to the tomb to anoint His dead body by Mary and Mary, would never be used! I find it shocking that these men, who were NOT of the House of Isreal recognized Him as someone special...worthy of many many MANY days travel across many lands..in order to honor Him and the leaders of His own chosen people did not. Instead of the promised Messiah, the Savior, He was seen by the church leaders as a threat to their way.




We sang this amazing hymn Thursday evening..all 16 of us in our little church..and I was thinking about how Christians the world over have sung this hymn for 500 years!

O Morning Star How Fair and Bright!
Phillip Nicholai (1556-16-08)

O Morning Star, how fair and bright!
You shine with God's own truth and light,
Aglow with grace and mercy!
Of Jacob's race, King David's son,
Our Lord and master, You have won
Our hearts to serve You only!
Lowly, holy!
Great and glorious,
All victorious,
Rich in blessing!
Rule and might o'er all possessing!


Come, heav'nly bridegroom, light divine,
And deep within our hearts now shine;
There light a flame undying!
In Your one body let us be
As living branches of a tree,
Your life our lives supplying.
Now, though daily
Earth's deep sadness
May perplex us
And distress us,
Yet with heav'nly joy You bless us.


Lord, when You look on us in love,
At once there falls from God above
A ray of purest pleasure.
Your Word and Spirit, flesh and blood
Refresh our souls with heav'nly food.
You are our dearest treasure!
Let Your mercy
Warm and cheer us!
O draw near us!
For You teach us
God's own love through You has reached us.


Almighty Father, in Your Son
You loved us when not yet begun
Was this old earth's foundation!
Your Son has ransomed us in love
To live in Him here and above:
This is Your great salvation.
Alleluia!
Christ the living,
To us giving
Life forever,
Keeps us Yours and fails us never!


O let the harps break forth in sound!
Our joy be all with music crowned,
Our voices gladly blending!
For Christ goes with us all the way--
Today, tomorrow, ev'ry day!
His love is never ending!
Sing out! Ring out!
Jubilation!
Exaltation!
Tell the story!
Great is He, the King of glory!


What joy to know, when life is past,
The Lord we love is first and last,
The end and the beginning!
He will one day, oh, glorious grace,
Transport us to that happy place
Beyond all tears and sinning!
Amen! Amen!
Come, Lord Jesus!
Crown of gladness!
We are yearning
For the day of Your returning!

FOUND!

The keys are found!

Ds #3, age 9, found them in the office. I KNEW they were in there...that is the last place I saw them...they were on the desk, to the left of the computer. But that is NOT where they were found. He found them on the windowsill, behind the shutters. Crazy isn't it?




He got three packs of Starbursts as a reward...and I now have an extra set of keys! Not a bad deal. Did I already mention my dh gave me a new set of keys in my Christmas stocking? They are attached to a "key-finder." Just whistle and the light flashes and a beep sounds. Too bad that beeper goes off at the slightest squeak...and to talk radio while I am driving....LOL.

Worry

In Matthew 6, Jesus tell us not to worry. (Consider the lilies of the field....) He tells about how the flowers are clothed and the birds are fed by God alone and how much more precious to Him we are than they. He will and does take care of all of our needs.




This passage has been on my mind lately: 34 So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Driving home from the Dr's visit yesterday, I was telling my dh how I just cannot think about how on earth we are going to raise yet another child. I look 20 years down the road and see us both at retirement age and I get tired just thinking about it! I get scared to death, actually, that I am so not up to the task! I cannot look at the big picture of raising our family at all. It makes me want to cry in despair because the job is too big. Looking back at these past 20 years I cannot believe all that we've been through and that I am very glad I didn't know in advance. I marvel that the older ones don't seem to messed up from our mistakes and now pray for their constant safety.

My point is, I can barely manage today. BUT if I think about only today and do what I am supposed to do today, it isn't nearly as overwhelming. I know I am going to not do my best, because I rarely do, and there will be some failure, but I also know my kids kow I love them and forgive them...that God loves them and forgives them and that someday, we'll all be in heaven where there is no failure, no sadness, no hurt feelings, no anger (5 year old dear son couldn't believe that one.."REALLY?" he asked) no sickness, no pain. I can't wait for that time!!!

I have heard more than once from strangers that they could never do what we are doing. What I wish I could just say is that I have those same feelings! You know what? I can't do it either! It is by the grace of God..truly..any of us HAVE kids let alone raise them to be productive adults who don't hate us :) or despise God. (or vice versa!) God gives what is best for us...so I am assuming that He is feeding my craving to never be alone! LOL or that quiet must be bad....LOL

Pictures of #10

Well, I went in to Duke Perinatal today for my level 2 ultrasound. It is a requirement (of the drs where I go these days) for moms over 35. They like to check for all sorts of genetic abnormalities, especially Downs and tri-somy 18, as well as spina bifida and other spine and brain issues. Since an ultrasound is non-invasive, I elected to go ahead so that if the baby did have something that obviously wrong, we could deliver at a better equipped hospital. The ultrasound itself last about a half an hour. The radiologist told us what she was looking for each time she measured something and long story short, she found no markers at all for any of the difficulties they watch for. The geneticist further comforted us by noting that based soley on statistics alone, the chances that our baby will be healthy are about as good as they can be this side of delivery! This is such a huge relief to me at this point! I know that things can still go wrong, but I was very worried that the anxiety medicine I was on when I got pregnant had depleted my folic acid stores (one of its side effects) and that because my morning sickness was so bad this time and I didn't even get the usual two weeks of vitamins in before the sickness started, I was sure I did not have enough to ensure the proper spinal cord and brain development. Here is a picture of our newest munchkin:
The baby is now 6" long and still due to arrive the beginning of June. It never ceases to amaze me how miraculous baby making is. People talk about how THEY decided to get pregnant and THEY ate the proper foods and THEY had the proper health care and THEY did this and that and that is why they have this baby. While all the scientific knowledge certainly can aid in bringing a healthy baby to term...there is no way this happens without the hand of God. I cry every single time I see those pictures at the wonder of it all. So very many things have to go right for us to hold babies in our arms, it is a miracle anyone gets to have one, let alone us with ten. Ten. Holy Spumoni Batman..how on earth can that be true??? I can't believe I get to cuddle and love another little honeypie! I don't even mind the puke...or the diapers. I just hope for some sleep so I can be patient and nice.

Oh..you want to know what it is? Well, see for yourself:


And now the question is...what to name this fine young gentleman? The kids have all voted already and completely agree. Dad and me just have to make up OUR minds!

Marriage 2

In college, it would ruin my day..sometimes my week, to find out yet another of my Christian friends had lost their virginity. After 4 years, you think I'd have gotten used to it, but I didn't. I was just disappointed. I didn't love them any less or anything, just I wanted to know someone else, somewhere, held the conviction that I did on the subject, and would become deeply sad that they did not have this special gift saved for their spouse. (And yes, it was one of the reasons I was so attracted to my now husband!)

Today, I feel the same disappointment when I find out dear Christian friends past or present are getting a divorce. I feel deeply sad for them..deeply sad that some sin was too great to forgive or forget...that they would rather be alone.

Over this past weekend, we became reacquainted with some old friends. They are the same age as dh and I and have been married about as along as we have been married and have endured some daunting struggles...struggles that most marriages would not survive. Dh and I have struggled with broken churches and many moves and many pregnancies (meaning pregnancy...shall we say...moodiness?) This couple struggles with medical issues and run-ins with the law that they will have to pay the consequences for for the remainder of their days and all of this on top of severely limited financial means. Amidst their troubles they have raised a good son, who is going to college even though his mom and dad did not.

In the eyes of the world, this couple has next to nothing..and what they have is someone else's leftovers. And yet, I look at this couple and marvel that they have more than most. They love each other and depend on each other for everything. He cares for her medical needs..she makes sure he gets the help he needs so that he can remain a good husband and father. She made darn sure her boy learned to read and kept up with his school work so he could go to college and make a better life for himself....all the while going to church when they could scrape up gas money. A true sacrifice for them.

My life is infinitely easier than the life they have to lead. The same God who takes care of them, has taken care of our family as well, for it is by the grace of God my dh hasn't said "Enough!" to the crazy I bring :) to our marriage.

I do know the anger and rage others have toward their spouses..I have felt that, more than I'd like to admit. It is embarrassing to me. I know the frustration of always having to listen to someone go on and on about something I have either heard before or don't care one lick about. (I assure you so does my dh!) But...to be alone. I think it would be nice and peaceful to always be able to do everything MY way..boy I think I would like that..but to be alone. Holy cow, my dh and I are both very, very stubborn and do not see eye to eye on many things and have had to just agree to disagree (I am not big on that solution, I want to be right once in a while!!) I cannot imagine not having someone here to hug me when I am afraid or listen to my rants and love me anyway..or to be alone when I am old....who could finish my sentences for me or give me that knowing look of complete understanding without words. (And Lord knows I love when my dh flirts with me!)

The kids ask me why divorce happens and I say "life happens" There are many many things that happen that contribute....but I wonder which ones couldn't be fixed by forgiveness?