Marriage 2

In college, it would ruin my day..sometimes my week, to find out yet another of my Christian friends had lost their virginity. After 4 years, you think I'd have gotten used to it, but I didn't. I was just disappointed. I didn't love them any less or anything, just I wanted to know someone else, somewhere, held the conviction that I did on the subject, and would become deeply sad that they did not have this special gift saved for their spouse. (And yes, it was one of the reasons I was so attracted to my now husband!)

Today, I feel the same disappointment when I find out dear Christian friends past or present are getting a divorce. I feel deeply sad for them..deeply sad that some sin was too great to forgive or forget...that they would rather be alone.

Over this past weekend, we became reacquainted with some old friends. They are the same age as dh and I and have been married about as along as we have been married and have endured some daunting struggles...struggles that most marriages would not survive. Dh and I have struggled with broken churches and many moves and many pregnancies (meaning pregnancy...shall we say...moodiness?) This couple struggles with medical issues and run-ins with the law that they will have to pay the consequences for for the remainder of their days and all of this on top of severely limited financial means. Amidst their troubles they have raised a good son, who is going to college even though his mom and dad did not.

In the eyes of the world, this couple has next to nothing..and what they have is someone else's leftovers. And yet, I look at this couple and marvel that they have more than most. They love each other and depend on each other for everything. He cares for her medical needs..she makes sure he gets the help he needs so that he can remain a good husband and father. She made darn sure her boy learned to read and kept up with his school work so he could go to college and make a better life for himself....all the while going to church when they could scrape up gas money. A true sacrifice for them.

My life is infinitely easier than the life they have to lead. The same God who takes care of them, has taken care of our family as well, for it is by the grace of God my dh hasn't said "Enough!" to the crazy I bring :) to our marriage.

I do know the anger and rage others have toward their spouses..I have felt that, more than I'd like to admit. It is embarrassing to me. I know the frustration of always having to listen to someone go on and on about something I have either heard before or don't care one lick about. (I assure you so does my dh!) But...to be alone. I think it would be nice and peaceful to always be able to do everything MY way..boy I think I would like that..but to be alone. Holy cow, my dh and I are both very, very stubborn and do not see eye to eye on many things and have had to just agree to disagree (I am not big on that solution, I want to be right once in a while!!) I cannot imagine not having someone here to hug me when I am afraid or listen to my rants and love me anyway..or to be alone when I am old....who could finish my sentences for me or give me that knowing look of complete understanding without words. (And Lord knows I love when my dh flirts with me!)

The kids ask me why divorce happens and I say "life happens" There are many many things that happen that contribute....but I wonder which ones couldn't be fixed by forgiveness?