Special Needs

Over the years, we have been asked if our churches catered to "special needs" children. This question has always bothered me, but I have never been able to pinpoint why. I have recently been thinking about it again because it is being discussed on one of our email lists.

I do not have a child with any sort of handicap, unless you consider screaming or stubbornness a handicap ;) (I assure you some days they really are)

People have asked if we have special accommodations for Sunday School or special kid-only worship. Please forgive my ignorance, but in our smallest Sunday School, we had all ages of kids together for that time. Yes, we had toddlers and junior high kids together. It wasn't horrible...to me, a homeschool mom, it just seemed like family time. Did the older kids have to help? Yes. Is that a bad thing? Is that wasting their time? learning to help with small children? Some churches spend heaploads of money sending that age kid on a servant event to some other land with poor kids. Well, helping little people learn about Jesus is no less important, but is sure is alot less "pretty and shiny"...a more ordinary type of service. Aren't so many acts of service of the ordinary sort??? But I digress. ALL of the kids learned something those few years, not just the little guys. Hymns, catechism, church year, Bible Stories all point to Jesus..you get the idea.

I have learned from other homeschoolers' experiences that kids who have special needs need their parents to be their advocates. The parents make sure that child is getting the developmentally age appropriate services through the school or medical services through their health care provider that will best serve their child. Because of this, I understand why these parents come to us with the questions that they do.

But I have figured out why the questions bother me. In the church, all of us - young , old, crippled, whole, blind, deaf, autistic, Down's sydrome - all of us are disabled. We are ALL crippled by sin. Period. The Church has one purpose and one purpose only - to forgive our sins. We are all on the same footing at the feet of a Holy God...unworthy of His kindness. We are all unworthy of His favor. In the world we want our differences to be accommodated, but in the Church we are all the same.

In the Divine Service, we are repeatedly reminded of our sinfulness and inability to please God by our actions. We then are blessed to be reminded each and every Service of God's unwavering Grace and Love toward us through the person of Jesus Christ. We get to hear His Loving Words...we get to see His hand physically wash the sins away from someone...we get to taste His body and Blood for our forgiveness. God knows how we need all five senses to learn and remember...shoot! He created us! He gives us music to teach us about what He has done for us. He gives us Pastors to be His voice and other parishoners to wrap their loving arms around us when we struggle and rejoice with us when we rejoice.

I will not care if the Sunday School teacher for my child has read the books about Down's or Autism. If my child needs me to sit in his class with him...as I have for all of the babies/toddlers even 5 year olds...I will do it. If classroomtime is too difficult, we will continue to read Bible Stories at home like we always have. I understand completely how wearying it must be, but aren't something just better if they are just simplified?

I am particularly reminded of a man in our first church who was the same age as me. He had Down's syndrome and lived with his mom and dad. He came to church every Sunday. He sang along with the liturgy and could say the Lord's Prayer...he even came to the communion rail, but just for a blessing. My husband and I were shocked that he didn't receive communion. When asked about it, his dad said that Johnny didn't understand. My husband talked to Johnny at length. Do you know what Johnny knew? That he did bad things every day. That Jesus loved him. That Jesus came to him in that bread and in that cup to take those bad sins away...and that he would get to go to heaven someday. That is what he knew from 30 years of going to church and Sunday School! My husband asked the dad if he could confess it any better...do any of us know how God does this? There are many fat books in all sorts of languages that discuss these very things and yet, all we really know is what God says...what Johnny confessed that day. After that, Johnny was welcomed to the Altar. "Given and shed for you for the forgiveness of sins." He was very, very excited!

One Thing Needful....and it is FREE.

O Come Little Children

When I was a child, the congregation sang this hymn as all of the children processed into the sanctuary for the Christmas Pageant. It makes me cry to hear that hymn. I found out yesterday that my dear husband's congregation shared the same tradition, except they sang the first stanza in German!

Because we do the traditional Bible Story as our pageant each year, we do try to add something "new" each year for a LITTLE variety. (Let my Lutheran readers understand!! LOL) This year it was the Latin for O Come All Ye Faithful, sign language for the first stanza of Silent Night and second stanzas.(the congregation sings all of the stanzas) Next year, it will be this hymn.

Christmas play

This is a nice picture of Our Redeemer on the inside. It is a beautiful sanctuary.

We had our annual Christmas Pageant at Our Redeemer last evening. Since we've arrived, we've returned to reading the the story straight from the Scriptures and singing the appropriate hymns. The kids sang the first two stanzas of each hymn this time. They also sang the first stanza of O Come All Ye Faithful in Latin and signed the first stanza of Silent Night.

The highlight for me personally was the fact that dear 5 year old son participated. He somehow got the idea that the only way he'd get a candy bag was if he stood up there and sang. We never said that, but somehow that is what his brain heard...hey, I didn't clear it up for him either! He even decided at practice yesterday morning that he WOULD be King Herod! We'd suggested it weeks ago, but he would have none of it, so we dropped it. OK so then he surprised us even further and wore a costume! He had told us he would not...we said that would be fine, but when he saw the other kids getting dressed he asked for his costume. The girls and I had a hard time containing ourselves..we were so proud of him! But..we knew if we gushed, that might be the end of that, and he might not participate at all.



Here are dear 13 year old son (played Gabriel), 9 year old (Joseph) and the 11 year old (Shepherd/WiseMan) and 5 year old (Herod)in front.


Three year old dear son's participation ended up being running down from the where the kids were singing, hands down the front of his pants, saying he had to go pee. Oh well. At least he didn't pee his pants!

This is the beautiful chrismon tree we set up each year. There are so many fragile, handmade ornaments! This year, a dear member donated the gorgeous three dimensional star .


I pray that your Christmas Celebration reminds you of the best gift of all..Jesus, the Christ...given for your Salvation!

Sing along!

           "From Heaven Above to Earth I Come"
                by Martin Luther, 1483-1546
                              Text From:
                    THE LUTHERAN HYMNAL
     (St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1941)



     1. "From heaven above to earth I come
     To bear good news to every home;
     Glad tidings of great joy I bring,
     Whereof I now will say and sing:

     2. "To you this night is born a child
     Of Mary, chosen virgin mild;
     This little child, of lowly birth,
     Shall be the joy of all the earth.

     3. "This is the Christ, our God and Lord,
     Who in all need shall aid afford;
     He will Himself your Savior be
     From all your sins to set you free.

     4. "He will on you the gifts bestow
     Prepared by God for all below,
     That in His kingdom, bright and fair,
     You may with us His glory share.

     5. "These are the tokens ye shall mark:
     The swaddling-clothes and manger dark;
     There ye shall find the Infant laid
     By whom the heavens and earth were made."

     6. Now let us all with gladsome cheer
     Go with the shepherds and draw near
     To see the precious gift of God,
     Who hath His own dear Son bestowed.

     7. Give heed, my heart, lift up thine eyes!
     What is it in yon manger lies?
     Who is this child, so young and fair?
     The blessed Christ-child lieth there.

     8. Welcome to earth, Thou noble Guest,
     Through whom the sinful world is blest!
     Thou com'st to share my misery;
     What thanks shall I return to Thee?

     9. Ah, Lord, who hast created all,
     How weak art Thou, how poor and small,
     That Thou dost choose Thine infant bed
     Where humble cattle lately fed!

     10. Were earth a thousand times as fair,
     Beset with gold and jewels rare,
     It yet were far too poor to be
     A narrow cradle, Lord, for Thee.

     11. For velvets soft and silken stuff
     Thou hast but hay and straw so rough,
     Whereon Thou, King, so rich and great,
     As 'twere Thy heaven, art throned in state.

     12. And thus, dear Lord, it pleaseth Thee
     To make this truth quite plain to me,
     That all the world's wealth, honor, might,
     Are naught and worthless in Thy sight.

     13. Ah, dearest Jesus, holy Child,
     Make Thee a bed, soft, undefiled,
     Within my heart, that it may be
     A quiet chamber kept for Thee.

     14. My heart for very joy doth leap,
     My lips no more can silence keep;
     I, too, must sing with joyful tongue
     That sweetest ancient cradle-song:

     15. Glory to God in highest heaven,
     Who unto us His Son hath given!
     While angels sing with pious mirth
     A glad new year to all the earth.

Mary Cariola School

I have a niece, same age as my littlest girlie (7), who was born with a rare genetic deletion. She is a very bright, social girlie who has been at this school for about a year and a half. When she started there, she could not walk and now she can with the help of her very pretty green and pink walker. She has even begun to speak for the first time, learning to say "hi!" to her friends and family! These are just a few of the milestones she has reached because of the dedicated, loving and caring staff at this amazing school.

As I spend too many minutes worrying whether or not our new baby will have chromosomal challenges, I remind myself of all of the help there is available to parents of kids with special needs and that God knows those needs already and will find a way to help us meet those needs just as He has with our other kids.

It is our joy to support Ella's school in honor of her grandpa Jerry, a retired, special ed (BOCES) teacher in the NY State schools. I wish we could physically do more to help Ella and her family, but proximity being an issue, NC and upstate NY not being exactly close, monetary gifts to her school will have to do.

Update

In case you were wondering, I am greatly rejoicing that morning/all-day sickness has passed. It took a few weeks longer this time and was complicated by various virii that went through the house, but it is gone.

Also, God provided more maternity clothes to replace the one I gave away. Thank you church friend and freecycle lady!

(Everyone should join the online community freecycle.org ! It is great! It is a place where you can offer your "trash" and someone can happily claim it as their treasure! I've gotten rid of an old broken,sewing machine, homeschooling books, clothes, old broken furniture, an old awning we took off our house...I've received a HUGE bin of cake decorating items, clothes galore, homeschooling stuff, paint, computer hard drive, dvd player, toys. It is to keep things out of the landfill. I cannot believe that I've been able to get rid of ..stuff that was really junk to me...clogging up our closets and floors.)

Commercial Message

As I got one kid to unload the dishwasher, I got the 5 year old to mixing up the batch of brownies I'd promised to make with him.

Rats..my favorite 9x13 pan still had to go into the dishwasher from Friday night's apple crisp. hmmm I must have another pan....oh here is another 9x13!..oh. It is one of my grandmother's pans, filled with RUST. Oh! That's ok, I have foil. Ok line the pan. I usually grease the pan with margarine..but dh got me some spray stuff for free with triple coupons the other day, let's try that. Wow, that was easy! ok.



Mix up the brownies, bake, eat lunch, don't let the brownies overcook...set on the stove to find a rack to cool them on, get distracted cause 14 year old is watching "What Not to Wear" without me!

Return 30 minutes later..see oven still on and uh oh I set the brownies on the back burner through which the oven heat pours..oh no! I am sure the bottom of the pan is burnt through and the brownies with it!

I grab the pan tip it over to look at the bottom..whew! Not burnt at all..WHAT? The brownies flop out onto the stove and the floor! ACK! My brownies have never slipped out of a pan..ever..never ever! Why on earth did they do that??? Oh. The non-stick spray...Baker's Joy. Imagine that. Should I call the company?

The brownies still tasted awesome. We even saved some for dd#2.

Marriage 1

I have been stewing about this for a few days now. A few couples from our church are in the process of ending their marriages and it is very upsetting to me, such nice people who actually do love each other, letting go of the treasure God gave. I am so sad for them.

So now, I feel compelled to dump, I mean share my beliefs about what marriage is like and what it is NOT like and the responsibilities involved.

First let me say I have been married to my dh for twenty years. I met him in college when he was a mere 18 and I was 20 and I knew almost immediately that he was "The One." We did wait until we both finsihed our undergrad degrees before we married though.

So young we were!!!!! Holy cow, if my now 18 year old daughter would come to me and said she'd met "The One," I'd be so excited and counting the grandchildren!!!!! NOT. I would be happy for her and say..."I can't wait to meet him!" and then just see how things went. We do know other happily married couples who'd even married at 18 or 19 and are still married, so I believe that age is not THE determining factor in marital success.

I disagree that couples need to have alot in common. Dh and I often joked, even back then, that we had nothing in common except God and pizza and that is pretty much still true....God gave us more than a few somethings (soon to be 10) in common over the years and I think I like that best ! We are pretty much opposite in everything. He likes sports and camping and is direct. I like theatre and music and artsy things and tend to be more random/chaotic in my thinking. He can remember anything he reads and most everything he hears...me? not so much...unless it has made an deeply emotional imprint. He loves spontaneous and I do NOT ( though I have learned it has benefits). He is very logical and I am emotional. Ok so you get the picture. I think this is by God's design because the two become one and complete each other...we balance each other, we are able to bear each other's weaknesses pretty nicely...when we look at it that way! But there are days when that is very, very challenging.

Please understand this is 24 years experience talking. It hasn't always been pretty!

I guess what I want to do is put down on paper (out in cyberspace) The things I pray that my kids know, what I wish all young, struggling married folks would know about this amazing gift God gives called marriage.

I am not going to start with "The wife submitting" though :)

I have said this to my kids so many times that I hope they have caught the point by now. Living with another person is not always fun. We live in a houseful of 11 people. We all love each other and care for each other deeply. That said, each one of us has wanted to (or actually) run out of the house to scream and yell about how frustrating one or another of those dear people can be! Amongst sublings there have been punches thrown, slaps and screams heard, ugly words launched. Forgiveness prevails in the end and after a time, the "lovely" feelings return. While we love each other, the FEELING of love isn't always present. Sometimes, there are feelings of annoyance, loathing even hate. Doesn't mean you are not sisters or brothers anymore or spouses anymore! Means you are HUMAN..a SINNER. Somebody is not getting their way or worse yet, told they are wrong and this is what happens. It happens to everyone. It is normal. What matters is that someone humbles themself enough to see thier OWN sin and apologize for it and get forgiveness. NO finger pointing. "But YOU did blah-bity blah blah blah" also not allowed. The sin of another NEVER gives you permission or justification for sinning too. No name calling.

All of the rules in childhood especially apply to a marriage!

I think these pictures from last Easter sum it up pretty well:

Real life, most days anyway and what we wish real life was more like:




I really have a huge sinkfull of pots and pans to wash and I promised to bake brownies, cookie bars and banana bread today so that will have to be my stopping point for today.